Loosing Social Etiquettes

Greeting every passer-by with a smiling ‘Hello'; saying ‘Guten tag' or ‘Bonjour' to the shopkeeper while entering the shop; holding doors open for others to pass through before you when you see them approaching from the other side; stopping doors from swinging back too quickly and banging people in the face when they try to come in through the door behind you; saying good-bye to everyone around when you leave office in the evening; A descent queue at metro stations; Sudden halt of a fast-moving vehicle just to let a pedestrian cross the road. These are the things which I am missing badly after returning from Europe.

I don't know whether these social etiquettes were present in the ancient India or not; but there is a thin silver lining of my childhood memories when we used to say ‘sat sri akal' to our oldie lala ji when we used to visit his shop for candies or something and receiving something extra from him as a runga; wishing all the aunties sitting on the doorways while walking to school. Greeting every passerby with a big smile while playing outside my maternal home when we visit there during summer holidays and getting a warm hug and blessings in return; at that time I always got confused how every single person knows who I am and from where I am but today I can say that was the bond of love and affection we people used to share. Whatever it was but it's a routine that we will wish them and get loved in return.

Things are still the same back in my village but social etiquettes have little or no value and diminishing relevance in modern India. Surely it doesn't cost time or money to stop, smile and whisper a few sweet nothings before moving on; but somehow it seems so difficult here in our country. I think it's becoming fashionable not to recognize or reciprocate a gesture of politeness with another; I wonder if it is a sign of the rising arrogance, disdain or superiority of our times.

I try to be courteous and greet everyone; even to colleagues I don't know but see very often. But several times my smile is returned by a strange look as if I have trespassed someone’s privacy by just wishing them good morning or something; sometimes they just look blankly. Occasionally I get the same good response reciprocated. The effect of this changing culture is that I don’t dare to wish or smile to a female colleague whom I don’t know much as she would assume me trying to molest her. That doesn't matter if a person like me believes in gender equality; the other person doesn't.

I stop the lift doors from closing when I see people fast approaching; and I wait for my mates to be seated before I dig right into my lunch plate in office canteen or restaurant. But then does everybody else follow such rules? No, I realize, as I watch these people stride out of these establishments – through the doorway that I hold open - without the slightest hint of gratitude or acknowledgement; as they press ‘close' on the lift panel despite my rushing towards the lift; and as they start moving out of the food table without waiting for others to finish theirs.

We always blame government and other authorities for lack of facilities, corruption, mismanagement etc. etc. as we are always eager to criticize others. But social etiquettes depends upon us people so don't let them die down; next time you are out on a walk, ask yourself if you are naturally inclined to smile or not?