Loosing Social Etiquettes

Greeting every passer-by with a smiling ‘Hello'; saying ‘Guten tag' or ‘Bonjour' to the shopkeeper while entering the shop; holding doors open for others to pass through before you when you see them approaching from the other side; stopping doors from swinging back too quickly and banging people in the face when they try to come in through the door behind you; saying good-bye to everyone around when you leave office in the evening; A descent queue at metro stations; Sudden halt of a fast-moving vehicle just to let a pedestrian cross the road. These are the things which I am missing badly after returning from Europe.

I don't know whether these social etiquettes were present in the ancient India or not; but there is a thin silver lining of my childhood memories when we used to say ‘sat sri akal' to our oldie lala ji when we used to visit his shop for candies or something and receiving something extra from him as a runga; wishing all the aunties sitting on the doorways while walking to school. Greeting every passerby with a big smile while playing outside my maternal home when we visit there during summer holidays and getting a warm hug and blessings in return; at that time I always got confused how every single person knows who I am and from where I am but today I can say that was the bond of love and affection we people used to share. Whatever it was but it's a routine that we will wish them and get loved in return.

Things are still the same back in my village but social etiquettes have little or no value and diminishing relevance in modern India. Surely it doesn't cost time or money to stop, smile and whisper a few sweet nothings before moving on; but somehow it seems so difficult here in our country. I think it's becoming fashionable not to recognize or reciprocate a gesture of politeness with another; I wonder if it is a sign of the rising arrogance, disdain or superiority of our times.

I try to be courteous and greet everyone; even to colleagues I don't know but see very often. But several times my smile is returned by a strange look as if I have trespassed someone’s privacy by just wishing them good morning or something; sometimes they just look blankly. Occasionally I get the same good response reciprocated. The effect of this changing culture is that I don’t dare to wish or smile to a female colleague whom I don’t know much as she would assume me trying to molest her. That doesn't matter if a person like me believes in gender equality; the other person doesn't.

I stop the lift doors from closing when I see people fast approaching; and I wait for my mates to be seated before I dig right into my lunch plate in office canteen or restaurant. But then does everybody else follow such rules? No, I realize, as I watch these people stride out of these establishments – through the doorway that I hold open - without the slightest hint of gratitude or acknowledgement; as they press ‘close' on the lift panel despite my rushing towards the lift; and as they start moving out of the food table without waiting for others to finish theirs.

We always blame government and other authorities for lack of facilities, corruption, mismanagement etc. etc. as we are always eager to criticize others. But social etiquettes depends upon us people so don't let them die down; next time you are out on a walk, ask yourself if you are naturally inclined to smile or not?

WE the people

We - the people, a network of people involved in the emphasis of active citizenry; a group of people who I think are really concerned about the present circumstances of our country and are doing something to change it for the good.

After deceiving twice my own words, which I truly hate; finally I was there in Citizenship program organized by ‘WE- the people’. I got to know about WE the people through time-pass internet surfing; I registered twice for their Citizen Cafés program but couldn’t attend, blame it on my busy schedule or my callus laziness.

Anyhow, this Saturday sharp 9:45AM I was there at school of Inspired Leadership where I was greeted by Ms. Vinita Singh who was the facilitator of this program along with Mr. Bali. Before the clock struck 10:00, the meeting room was occupied by some inspiring personalities and few new-comers like me in this world of social enlightenment. The focus of our meeting was the Preamble of our Constitution. The objective is to raise awareness among people about their rights and responsibilities that we could take up as citizens of India. Today I got to know that after being labeled a postgraduate to myself I am still an illiterate, when it comes to our constitutional rights. 

Second half of the session was more towards the practical implementation of the thoughts which we all have for the betterment of the society. The veteran’s among us have shared their experiences and inspiring stories. From last one year or so, I was noticing some good changes in Gurgaon. Today, while listening to the rousing stories of these people, I got to know that I was sitting among such people who are the driving force behind those good things that are happening in Gurgaon.

I must thank Ms. Vinita for inviting me for such a wonderful experience and all those persons who are doing their bit for the mother earth. Hopefully their efforts will enlighten my life too, and I will also be a part of their magnificent team.

What if you have to buy back your own child ?

Last Monday while returning home from office, I stopped at Neiha’s office. I am always hungry after office and that day I was lucky; they were having a samosa party and I got some share of that. I didn’t enquire about that as I was getting late for a meeting; so I hurried out.

At night Neiha told me the details of that party which was thrown by her carpenter in the office. And I was shocked to the core on hearing that.

Two days back Suresh’s (the carpenter) son got lost while playing outside his house. After hours of searching they were unable to find him, so they lodged a complaint in police station. By god’s grace within twenty four hours he got a call from police station, and they asked him to come to police station.

And you won’t believe what I am going to tell you next: Someone has found Suresh’s child and they handed it over to the police. Suresh went to police station all excited and with a big smile on his face. After some taunting to the parents for not taking care of their children which leads to the harassment of police department and some more this and that; the police personal came to the point, they asked for five thousand rupees as bribe to hand over the child to him. He first argued and then requested to the police to get back his own child. Suresh couldn’t believe his fate and poverty as he didn’t have that much money to purchase his own son.

After hours of weeping and beseeching at last police vala’s hard rock heart waxed a bit and he lowered his demand to three thousand; which was still out of reach for that poor chap and after some more pleading and negotiations police vala agreed to give back his child for rupees one thousand.

I am a good critic, every friend of mine blames me; that I can’t admire anything the only thing I know is “how to criticise”. But in this case even I don’t have any words to criticise this police staff. I am not saying it a positive sense, but even I am at loss of words to condemn this barbaric behaviour.

You decide – what should one can say about this in-human act?

Was it to be blamed on the poverty or the corrupt environment or the depleting moral characters?

Where should a poor person go for help if they are being battered by the law makers and defenders of the society?

Is there any end in sight to this sleaze corruption?

How not to Pray

Today I woke up with a splitting headache; not because of alcohol hangover or sickness but because of Indian’s obsession for GOD or should I say stupidity of ‘us Indians’.

I came back home after an office party around ten o’clock. What I saw on returning was a big tent on our house lane covering whole of the road stretch, and loud music dedicated to the mighty GOD’s. Cherry on cake was, haphazardly parked vehicles, as they couldn’t find their proper space because of the Jaagran tent. I also parked my car whatever place I got and moved in.

I was sure it was going to be a tough night because of the extra loud music; and so was it. I couldn’t sleep for a minute and at last at around one in the morning I gave up and moved out to the venue and requested the organizer for lowering the sound but of no use; they just minimized it by milli decibel. At last all that stopped at six in the morning and I managed to catch couple of hours sleep.

I couldn’t understand, what message these people want to convey to the GOD with such loud music in the middle of the night. I mean they don’t let him rest during the day as we have millions of temples and billions of devotees disturbing him; at least spare him for a good night’s sleep. Do they really believe that there sound is loud enough to reach their devtas sitting up in the sky –NO but yes, its loud enough to reach the police station in the next row and Unitech office (which is responsible for all the administration of our locality) few hundred meters away; But nobody bothered to save me and some more creatures who like to sleep during night, from this mid night torture. They would have been very active in shutting of the DJ if there would be some other kind of function but in this case even the police personal’s can’t dare to come between the GOD and his devotees. That doesn’t matter if their way of worshipping is destroying our night’s sleep, doesn’t matter if some student is not able to concentrate on its studies because of that, doesn’t matter if that is damaging for the patients in the nearby hospital.

I can also only pray to GOD for saving me from such kind of anguish but not in that noisy manner. And please GOD give some brain to these people, as only you can change them not even the good movies like OMG.

Illegal encroachment by GOD

This is a country where millions sleep without food daily and gallons of milk is spilled over the statues, where millions sleep under the stars and where temples are studded with Gold.

It’s all on God’s name! Nothing new in it and it’s not only Gurgaon’s story; this menace has spread all over India, in all the big and small cities, towns and villages. Illegal religious structures have encroached upon footpaths, streets and public spaces. And the nuisance seems destined to stay.

Does not matter how much God loving I might be, but the sight of these temples or dargah encroaching upon the footpath is bound to upset me and many more like me. But the apathy is we can’t do anything against it in this country, which is mad about their religion. Such illegal religious structures are un-likely to be razed, because the civic authorities fear it might hurt religious sentiments. All this, despite a clear Supreme Court direction (issued in 2009) that the State Governments ought to stop the mushrooming of such encroachments.

At HUDA City Center Chowk

Earlier I felt that the Supreme Court directive could make the removal of these structures easier, but it didn’t work out. Then Mr. Praveen Kumar Hooda has provided some optimism in this naysayer environment when he used Strong-arm tactics to rid the City from illegal encroachments, but his bulldozers were also confined to the homes and shops of the mortal ones, he couldn’t step forward towards these religious shops.

In last five years I had seen a 2X3 feet broken statue of Hanuman ji converting into 300 sq. feet temple on a footpath near Bristol chowk and there are many more; a big 3000 sq. feet temple acquiring green belt at Huda City centre chowk might have also been started from a some broken statue of some God or may be a Peepal tree.

Near Medanta Medi City (Sector 47)

They cut thousands of trees on the name of development (for metro construction / road widening) but they could not put their saw on Peepal tree; doesn’t matter if its in-between the road, doesn’t matter if it’s causing traffic havocs, doesn’t matter if someone looses his life in an accident because of that. Only God knows the link between him and the Peepal; I am sure these people who worship it, don’t have a clue about it.

It is quite impossible to remove these encroachments without flaring public emotions in a god-fearing country like ours. But we must need to do something; it needs both, hard line tactics by the civic authorities and the support of we citizens. But till now the indications are that the City and the country would just have to live with the existing structures.

Aman ki (Tam)Asha

It’s been 65 years to Indian Independence; some grieve it as the 65 years of India's partition, which killed a million people and many more were forced to flee across the newly laid border. Some people wish partition had never happened but I believe partition was inevitable; and considering the present scenario I will say it was desirable.

Media and the Indian Government were wheezing the killing of two Indian soldiers by Pakistan Army. But, is it the first time for Pakistan Army of such barbaric behavior with the Indian soldiers? Is this the first time that Pakistan has violated the ceasefire? Did they never before gave a friendly hand and then betrayed us.

I have no clue about what we need from Pakistan. Why Indian government is asking for a friendship, love and support from it? Why do we think that one day Pakistan will forget all the conflicts and will be a good neighbor then on-wards?  And, why we are ignoring a fact that a country whose origin is on the basis of partition which aroused with the religion hatred, will never shy away from its basic motto ‘Divide and Rule’.

Pakistani’s may also be saying these things about Indians and God knows who is right and who is wrong? But the truth is, India and Pakistan are two different countries and are enemies of each other. Here we can’t bargain that general public does not want any war or hatred, because it’s not the general public which matter at this level, it’s the politics and international environment.

Moreover partition was never forced over Indians; it was a mutual decision as both Congress and Muslim league failed to work together when the British put them together in the interim Cabinet of 1946-47. Furthermore, had the British left without Partition, Hindu-Muslim rivalry would have escalated into civil war, leading ultimately to an even bloodier Partition.

So, partition was inevitable and it had been a better outcome. The need of the time is that we should accept the fact that we are enemies of each other. We need to stay honest to ourselves and don’t get fooled by the false Aman ki Asha. Just live on our own and ignore Pakistan as S.Korea is doing with the N.Korea. There is no need to be friends with Pakistan and show love for that failed state, just overlook it on every front and consider as if there is another (dirty non-useful) ocean along the border of India.

Thanks Giving

Its time to make New Year resolutions. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come. 

The past year certainly was not good for India, but my New Year resolution is to shed all those negativities whatever had happened, whatever the corrupt government officials had done, whatever is happening around because of population explosion, the news media had hyped for their interests & TRP and the much glorified credibility which Indian cricket team has lost; and will try my best to concentrate on the few good things which are still present in this awful world.

On this first day of 2013 I would like to thank all those honest people who tried their best to keep this world livable by their sincere efforts. We owe a lot to such brave hearts who fight all the odds and stay honest in this corrupt environment just to serve us (the mango people). One such person is Mr. Praveen Kumar a senior Haryana IAS officer posted in Gurgaon as the HUDA administrator.

In past few months I have joined few FB pages of our administrators and politicians just to keep myself updated about what’s going on around our cozy comfort zones. One of those several pages is of GTP (Gurgaon Traffic Police), everyday they have updates about how many have been challaned, how hard they are working to improve the traffic situation in the city, this and that. But the situation is still same; same peak hour chaos at Iffcco chowk, same traffic conjunctions at multiple locations, unmanaged public transport system and same lazy police valas eager to fill their pockets.

But this blog is not for them, it is dedicated to all the honest servicemen who are doing everything to give justice to their post. Another FB page I joined recently was of Mr. Praveen Kumar, earlier I was sure that this person will be nowhere different from many other worthless servicemen; and these negative vibes are obvious when we talk about our government & system under it, be it politicians, police personnel’s or any other.

However, when I came back to Gurgaon last month after half a year visit to Europe I could not believe my eyes. It has changed a lot in these six months. When my Taxi took left from Highway Exit No. 8, I was very happy that the road got a much needed face lift. Then within next 10-15 days I have been on almost all the major roads of Gurgaon City and to my amazement almost all the roads seemed to be a F1 track, smoother than ever before; that reminded me one of the updates by Mr. Praveen Kumar on his FB page “As promised I am trying to deliver best roads but I need you all to help. Report me problems immediately” and I can say that this gentleman has done a great job in fulfilling his promises. Hope to get more chances of writing such thanks giving blogs in future to Mr. IAS and it will be even better if I will get a chance to write more stories of other public servants like him in the coming year.

The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. So, get inspired from such sincere people and write something good in this year’s book.